Monday, April 2, 2012

A New Way to Keep Cool (Part 2)

Yeah, April Fools!  No, there is no pool on the patio.  But that was probably fairly obvious with my Mad Photoshop Skillz™.  But, check out what you may have missed in the blog post itself:

  • Did you wonder why the post was so long and awkwardly written?  Check the first word of every line.
  • Althougth Ricka is a real name, it's very uncommon.  And it's usually a girl's name anyway.  Anyway, take the spaces and punctuation out of the cabana boy's name and you get::  Ricka St. Ley = Rickastley = Rick Astley
  • Did you get a feeling that you'd seen some of the phrases before?  You have.  There were several 80's song titles worked into the post.  They're high-lighted below.
  • Oh, and one final little bit of embedded-ness (is that a word?):  You, too = U2 = Group who sings "With or Without You" = one of the song titles worked in.

Happy April First!  (Well, now, April 2nd...)

Never before in Fresno has such a thing been even attempted and you're
gonna be amazed. Fresno has been really, really kind to us and we want to
give something back. Last night, we have installed a swimming pool to help
you stay cool in the coming heat of summer. We tried hard and stayed
up all night last night putting the finishing touches on the patio and we've
never seen such a dedicated group of people. Turn 'em loose and they're
gonna tear up the town, I'm sure!

Let your eyes wander across this picture. See the palm plants placed to shade
you in the glaring heat of summer. Imagine yourself cooling off as you glide
down the stairs into the pool. Be sure to read the signs telling you what you should
never do.  Unfortunately, the City is very particular about what a pool owner is
gonna have to do to keep it open.  Especially in a bar.

Run! Play! Swim! You can do whatever you want to do in and all the way
around our pool! But, you'll have to be drinking your beer from plastic cups
and throw them away in the garbage cans by the pool. But, the bartender won't
desert you out there.

You can call the cabana boy over and have a drink brought to you. We've
never heard of cabana boys at Faces in Sacramento, but, be assured, we're
gonna have 'em for you here. Our new cabana boy, Ricka St. Ley, will
make the trek into the bar, place your drink order with the bartender and bring
you your drink. Complete with a little paper umbrella. So, please don't
cry with joy. We think, no, we're absolutely, one-hundred percent sure, you'll
never see a pool in the patio at any other bar in Fresno. We think it just ain't
gonna happen.

Say hello to relaxing evenings by the pool with all of your (and our) friends and
goodbye to nights at home watching re-runs of 80's video video shows.  You'll
never have to do that again so you can give it up. What's more, we think we're
gonna have shimmering blue lights and dancing bartenders for you, too!
Tell ya what else on Friday nights, we'll have videos and have Rick roll you out
a cocktail or two while you wait for your friends to show up.  There's no need to
lie; just tell 'em, "I'll be there with or without you."

And, time after time, you, too, can jump into the pool.  (But no diving; you'll
hurt yourself.)  Please leave all glass out of the pool area.  We are doing this for
you, our customers.  Enjoy the pool!

1 comment:

  1. Did you wonder why the post was so long and awkwardly written? 

    No, we just assumed that was you being you, Bryan ;)