Monday, February 28, 2011

The Phoenix: A New Evaporation Pond

Oh, I almost forgot.

Saturday evening, we ended up at the bar to clean up the pond that had formed the day before.  We loaded up a bunch of spare towels, made hydrodynamic drawings of where the water will flow and at what rate, and how much erosion the moving water will create on the concrete floor.

But it was all for naught.  When we opened the door to the bar we saw the water had all but vanished.  Poof!

It's still a problem that we need to correct (where is the water coming from??) but that it vanishes within a day is a good thing.  It also says to me that we do have a water problem in the bar and that those times in the past we've gone down expecting to see large puddles of water but didn't see anything just means that the water that had been there just went somewhere else.

Healthy Plans Day

Progress continues.  Later today, we're heading to the Health Department to get their stamp of approval on our plans.  Shouldn't take too long.  I'm hoping to just have them look at them for about five minutes and then go *KA-CHUNK!* with their little stamp.  But, they could require to hold them for up to two weeks.

Considering that they only thing they've asked for is either unbreakable bulbs or enclosed fixtures over the bar and semi-gloss paint on the ceiling in the bathrooms I think it'll go fast.

Hopefully, this Magical Hoop™ doesn't move too far from where it is today.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Row, Row, Row Your Bar

Uh, oh.

Seems with yesterday's heavy downpour we have a water problem.  It looks like water came in under the newly-installed side door and is now puddling in the back half of the bar.  I didn't have time to clean it up yesterday so that'll have to be done later today.  Yay.  Cleaning up icy water in 40 degree weather and no electricity available to run any sort of wet-dry vacuum...  My hands are cramping up just thinking about it.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Theme Nights! Get your theme nights!

We're asking for your opinions on theme nights for The Phoenix.  Neither Karl nor I are really sure that they're necessary or if they're just a distraction.

We've added a survey to our web site to help make up our minds.  Your responses are anonymous and voluntary.  The survey is not scientific.  (Though, you should know that since we use Google Analytics on our website, we may be able to get your IP address from the survey.  I doubt it, though, since I didn't install the tracking code to the survey pages.)

Please, give the survey a once over, give us your opinion on the various themes we have in mind and whether or not you even care.  The survey will be up through the end of March.  Though, it may get extended.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

The Shrouded Meeting

The shroud of winter night was descending over the city like a drunken blanket sodden with sunlight and poked through by pins that would become the stars shining through.  The silver Ford F-150 with the dented tailgate and evidence of various birds that have roosted on the sides of its bed stuck sickenly to the bed rails sat at the left turn lane in the center of Blackstone Avenue its left turn indicator light blinking like the on-again, off-again progress of the building project undertaken by the truck's driver.

On the north-west corner of the intersection, a young man in his early twenties stood.  He wore a black fedora and a black suit and white spats over his black penny loafers.  The light from the street light formed a pool of warm, unflattering amber light around him; his face hidden in the shadow of his fedora.  From his gleaming brass saxophone he soulfully sent a haunting melody reminiscent of warmer, sultrier summer days in New York City lilting into the darkening streets of the city.

A gap opened up in the oncoming traffic and the driver inched his truck forward and stopped abruptly--the gap was moving slower and wasn't going to reach him in time.  A bead of sweat formed at his hairline about an inch to the left of the midpoint between his right eye and right ear and then slowly, inexorably crept down his temple toward the beard at his jaw.  It provided an unnecessarily refreshing cooling effect; it was winter after all.

The gap in traffic finally arrived and the driver gunned the accelerator and the truck, tires screeching a banshee cry like a drag queen who has just had her wig snatched off her head in the middle of her big, show-stopping number by a jealous underling with a mole the size of a dime on the left side of her nose, bolted across Blackstone and onto University Avenue.

Ahead, at the sad and lonely grey parking lot between the street and the railroad tracks that occasionally carry passengers on Amtrak to and fro going from and to the Amtrak station in Downtown Fresno and the occasional freight train going from and to places not quite understood the agent eagerly awaited to complete his task of passing the plans.

The truck barreled into the parking lot bouncing over the driveway access ramp like a giddy child on Christmas morning, turned left at the corner like a politician that has suddenly found herself in the middle of a scandal, and stopped next to the agents car with the broken windshield like a wild party at 2:00am.

The driver of the truck exited the vehicle into the chilly evening.  He could faintly hear the saxophonist's lamentations in the distance.

The agent said conspiratorially, "I want to explain a few things to you."

"Okay."

The two men slinked to the rear of the truck.  The tailgate was dropped and the agent spread the plans on the tailgate like a banquet on a budget.  Explanations were given.  "These are for your records," and "These are for the planning department," and "Take this to the Health Department," and "This is where they will sign off when you get your building permit."

The clandestine meeting concluded nearly as quickly as it had begun but not exactly, the plans were handed over to the driver of the truck, and the agent climbed back into his car and with a wave of his hand that said "See ya!" he fired up his engine and squealed off into the darkening night toward Blackstone Avenue where he turned right toward McKinley and disappeared out of sight but not quite out of mind and onto places unknown.

The other man opened the driver's side door to his truck, placed the plans and assorted paperwork onto the passenger seat, sighed a heavy sigh of unmitigated relief, and climbed back into the cab.  He closed the door with an air of finality and fired up his own engine and drove away.

And, as the last plaintive notes echoed forth from the saxophone, the shroud of darkness swallowed the day bringing the night and covered the only evidence -- some tire tracks, a few faint footprints, some shed skin cells and maybe a dog hair or two -- that the two men were ever there.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Great! Grafiti, Batman.

I'm so proud!  Our front door has finally grown up and has been welcomed to the community!


It was graffiti'd and before I thought to take a picture of the awesome work (which was one of the things that was marker'd onto the door) I covered it with paint.  We knew the nice clean slate of the front door would be irresistable to thugs and hoodlums with markers and spray paint so this isn't a big surprise.  But I think we have a color for our front door now.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Baby Steps

A guy was supposed to meet me at 3 in the afternoon at the bar to replace my truck's windshield.  (It had been broken for close to 10 years, I think).  Just before three, he called to say he was running late and would be at the bar in about 45 minutes.  He didn't show up until quarter after four.  Yay. 

So while I waited for him to get there and while he was working on the truck I spent some time kinda cleaning up the place.

We wanted to save the drink hangers over the bar and not have them end up with the rest of the roof.  In removing them it turns out that the easiest thing to do was to remove the wood panels and scalloped trim and the associated wires and other....stuff....that was up there.  This is what it looks like after all that was removed.  (Pictures from my crappy cell phone camera.)





I really don't think the tiny bits of work that gets done on days like yesterday really make that much of a difference.  But at least it makes me feel like something is getting done while not actually doing anything.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Color Test

Karl thought it would be interesting to see who could come up with the answer to this question.

These are among the chosen colors for The Phoenix.  Can you identify what they all have in common?

Friday, February 18, 2011

Vandals? Shocking!

Or maybe I should call this one "Shocking Vandals".

Earlier this week while trimming some of the pepper tree's branches to keep them from putting weight on the power and phone lines to the building, I noticed that the power line and support cable had been cut at the weather-head.  (That's the pipe sticking straight up from the wall that the power lines feed into from the pole in the alley.)  Thing is, the power line was live.  Whoever decided they wanted my power line more than I do probably got a nasty, nasty shock.  And I say, "Good!  Serves you right!"

I've since called PG & E and had them make the vandalized wire safe so there's no danger of sparking and arcing.  I'm just glad the only damage was the vandalization and not another fire.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Karl Dumps on Art

Karl occasionally gets all artsy and stuff.  This is a picture he took while I was tearing out part of the old burned out fence.



Ok, in reality, I think this was trying to show the fire damage to the fence and wasn't intended to be art at all.  But there it is.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Don't Fence Me In

No, actually, go ahead and fence me in.

I mentioned earlier the world's tiniest homeless encampment behind the bar and that we were going to put in a fence to help them move on with their lives. This is what the "fence" looked like before Karl and David started working.

Lovely, ain't it.

And here is after.



Karl loves the fence.



Cheesy pictures aside, the fence has already had the desired effect.  The patio has not been touched since the fence went up.  In my mind, this was money well spent.

(And don't worry, the fence is not complete.  We need to leave the side of the building accessible to the demolition crew for the dumpster.  The rest of the fence (down the side of the building) will be constructed after the roof work is complete.)

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Amazing Vanishing $300 Trick!

The City of Fresno runs the utilities for water, sewer, and garbage.  Nothing surprising about that.  But, imagine my surprise when I opened the first utility bill from the City and saw they wanted more than $300 for just two weeks of service.  And that was even before the water had been turned on.  That's a far cry from the $10 or so per week for garbage pickup I had been told.

Turns out, despite having been told that no deposit would be necessary, they wanted a $300 deposit.  But this was just itemized on the water portion of the bill.  Why they would want a deposit for water, I'm not sure.  Maybe it's so they can turn it off on us if we don't pay the bill or something like that.  (I'm pretty sure it has to do with non-payment and being able to keep the water turned on.)

Well, after a phone call to the Utility department, they said they could waive the deposit.  But I'd have to bring them all three credit reports and all three credit scores.  (One's not good enough?)  I know http://www.annualcreditreport.com/ gives you a free copy of your own credit reports once a year (you really should get yours.  Do it now.  I'll wait....)

(I'm still waiting....)

Back?  Good.

So, I got the reports from them that I hadn't gotten in the past 12 months, bought the credit score for the ones I don't have free access to.  Printed the credit scores and credit reports out (came to more than 40 pages!) and dragged them down to the City.

Turns out, they only needed the credit score sheets not the full credit report and the $300 got magically removed.  And it only cost me about $25 for the reports and another $50 for ink and toner.

(Ok, the $50 was a lie.)

Monday, February 14, 2011

Fence Demolition

Happy Valentine's Day!

Sometimes, before you can move on to your new love, you have to break up with the old one.  Here are a couple pictures of us breaking up with our old fence--it was too wrinkled and weak to continue in the relationship.

And one final picture that was taken after the fence was completely taken out.  (Thanks to David for helping finish the demolition.)





Ah!  Whatta lovely picture of our baby!  All naked and fence-less!  (I hope he gets cuter as he gets older...)

Friday, February 11, 2011

Gleaming New Doors!

As I mentioned earlier, here are the pictures of our new doors!

And don't laugh at the crappy job I did of putting the address numbers on the door.  They're only temporary anyway!


Thursday, February 10, 2011

Phoenix Feathers Flying

Holy Flaming Bird on a Stick!

Lots of news came our way yesterday.  (Which is probably why there was no blog post yesterday.)

First off, we got a call to come to Fresno to sign escrow paperwork for the liquor license.  (The ABC (Alcoholic Beverage Control) and Escrow companies got into bed with each other and decided to make a racket out of buying and selling liquor licenses; you must use an escrow company.  I suppose that's okay; it does protect both parties from bad things.)  So, we did that.  There's one bit of paperwork the ABC is waiting for from the state and then it should be all good.  It could be transferred as early as next week.  But it's not going to be much good without a building to serve drinks in.

And that's the next bit of news.

Our plans have nearly been approved and our building permit is nearly issued.  And we're back to needing to have eletrical plans submitted before the building permit can be issued.  And, as best I understand, it's not even "real" plans that we need.  From what the engineering firm wrote it sounds like all we need to do is indicate with the appropriate symbols on the plans where the new outlets and switches will be.  That may add some to the cost of the electrical but I don't think it'll be too much.  And it's a lot better than having to provide an entirely new electrical plan.  (Our chosen electrician gave the ball-park estimate of about $3,500 for that.  YIKES!)

If all this works out right, we could be ready to start tearing off the roof next week!

.....right when it's supposed to start raining.  Oh, well....

(Realistically, we probably won't be ready to start with the roof for about two weeks even if we get the building permit next week.)

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Slogan Slingin'

One of the things I had wanted to have for the bar was a good slogan that pretty much encompassed the feeling we want the bar to have.  We didn't really wanna take The Den's slogan ("Fresno's Bear and Leather Bar") because that seems (at best) a little rude.

Over the past several weeks, you may have noticed the slogan we use on our website change.  We tried out several.

But, I think we've settled it with "Conveniently Infamous™" even if we don't even quite know what it means.  (And how can we be infamous before we even open?  And what's so covenient about the place anyway?  The Cedar off-ramp is bizarre and getting to the bar from 168 is an exercise in map-reading and using a sextant!!)

Karl had a few of his own slogans that were summarily rejected by committee:
  • In The Phoenix No One Can Hear You Scream
  • Hooker-free Since 2010
  • $4.50 Drinks for $4.50 People
  • Now in Senseround!
  • Smells Like Fish; Tastes Like Chicken
  • Home of the Meal-Replacement Cocktail!
  • Solves that Not-So-Fresh Feeling
  • Friends, Fun and Flexible Phallus

Monday, February 7, 2011

To Plan Check!

After a month of wondering when it would happen, I received a message on Friday from the engineering firm.

Despite being previously told that before we can even begin demolition we need to have an electrician selected and draw up plans for the electrical work he (or she) that's not true.

We hadn't yet found an electrician we wanted to do the work for us so that was kinda gonna be the bottleneck for a while.  And that was frustrating because I'm trying desperately to make sure everything goes smoothly, in line, right after another, and with minimal delay.  And then everything was suddenly on hold waiting for electricians to get back to us with bids.

Turns out, that's not the case.  Our engineer wrote, "I think we have everything that we need for now" and that he would let us know early this week how Plan Check goes.

Having never gone through this process, I have no earthly idea what could go wrong but I'm prepared for the worst.  Maybe they'll want detailed drawings of the fence we just got in last week.  Maybe they want everything re-done in a slightly different special shade of blue.  Who knows.  (And why is Dealing With The City™ such a crap-shoot anyway?)

And I wonder how much more money the City is going to want from me...

Friday, February 4, 2011

We Have an Income!

Imagine my delight when I discovered we have an income!  Finally!  Something to put into the "Income" column on my financial reports!  It won't go very far in ofsetting the costs but still, having the income is SUCH a relief!

And now, I'm going to reveal part of our financial statement to you all.  You're all now on the inside!

We made $0.14 in interest last month in our savings account.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

"...There's a key for that."

I used to only have three keys on my key ring: Home, Truck, and bike lock.  Now, with having new doors and a bunch of other things that all have keys and locks, my key ring has at least doubled in size.  And weight.  And it's only going to get worse.

(I know, not much of an update.  But it amused me so here it is.)

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Another Month Gone By

When I look at the progress for January, it's not very encouraging.  Basically, it seems the only progress has been having new doors put in, receiving the plans back from The City, my key ring getting larger, and my ass getting a permanent impression of my office chair's sewing patterns.  (It looks a bit like Fidel Castro.)

But, Karl and I are both very, very encouraged by the enthusiasm we hear from nearly everybody we come in contact with.  "When are you going to open?"  "I can't wait for you to open!"  It's awesome to hear from so many different people these and similar comments!

So, we're with y'all here on wanting to open.  We're doing everything we can to speed the process on as best we can.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Opening Day Is.....

....sometime in the future.

Sorry for any false excitement I may have caused there.

A lot of people have been asking both Karl and I "When are you going to open?"  And, unfortunately, we don't have a good answer for that.  We say a lot of things that begin with, "We hope....", and "We think....".  I really do wish we had a concrete opening date.  But, at this stage of the game, the timing is 100% out of our hands.

Here's a rough reverse time line from the future opening date back to now.  (It's only a rough timeline).

  • We can't open until the City signs off on our construction work after it's all completed.
  • The city won't sign off until we have drywall up and insulation in.
  • The drywall can't be installed until the electrician has completed his (or her) work.
  • The electrician can't start his (or her) work until the roof is put on and signed off.
  • The roof can't be signed off until it's put on.
  • The roof can't be put on until the old one is removed.
  • The old roof can't be removed until we get a building permit issued.
  • The permit can't be issued until the plans have been approved.
  • The plans can't be approved until the engineering firm makes all corrections the City wants them to.
And that's where we stand now.  About a month ago, the engineering firm received the plans and correction list from the city.  We gave it to them ourselves.  They said it would take about two weeks to get the corrections done.  And here we are now.  Waiting. 

I knew there would be delays; but part of the issue is probably that I believe people when they tell me, "This will take X-amount of time."  I truly wish I had better information than this.  I've repeatedly said in a whiny, nasal voice to Karl over the past weeks and months, "I want an open bar."

I expect to be able to announce an opening date about a month before the actual opening.